The intern

It was his first day at the new company. He was feeling nervous, afraid he could do or say something stupid in front of his future co-workers. But he felt excited too, he dreamt big and really wanted to deliver a great performance.

On the first day, his boss called him to his office.

• Intern, have you ever worked before?

• No, sir.

• I was once at the exact same place you are now. Do you want to know what took me this far?

• Of course, sir.

• Practice and hardwork. Whatever someone asked me to do. I would do it fast and well. Faster and better than anyone in this company. And you know who taught me?

• No, sir.

• Myself. I would learn when I didn’t know, but I never said I couldn’t do something. And I want you to do the same. Are you ready?

• Of course, sir.

• Do you know anything about microscopes?

• No, sir.

• Good. I want you to buy me one. I wrote down some features that I need, and I want you to research and find a model that will suit my use. Are you up for the job?

• Of course, sir.

That same day, the intern comes back:

• Found the perfect model for you, sir. Have a look at this brochure.

• Amazing. Are you sure it’s the best option?

• 100% sure, sir.

• Good. You’re fast and confident. Go ahead and order and send the bill to the financial department.

• Ok, sir.

The microscope was perfect, his boss was extremely happy.

Some time later, he got a message. His boss wanted to see him. He couldn’t wait to please him once again. When he got to the office, he was surprised to find so many people waiting for him. Not only his boss, but the Financial Director, the C.E.O. and members of the board were present. He was feeling important.

A member of the board said:

• We have a problem regarding the purchase of a microscope, and we summoned you here to understand what happened from all the involved parties. How do you explain the fact that we paid U$125,000.00 for an equipment that costs US$ 1,000.00?

There are two possible endings to this story. Guess which one would happen in Brazil?

1) The C.E.O., the Financial Director and the intern were fired and would face an trial for embezzlement.

2) The intern went straight to jail. The Financial Director and the C.E.O. were found innocent and went back to their desks. It was clear they didn’t know anything about microscopes and could not be found guilty for trusting the fraudulent research performed by the intern.

Note: no similarities intended with Petrobras here. Microscope is not gas, and the amount of zeroes is entirely disproportional. Not to mention it is clear that our president is innocent and knew nothing about it. After all, everyone understands that a woman in her position must sign many documents she doesn’t really have the time to read with so much to do for her country.

Have I missed something?

Why in 2014 I was born Argentinian

Just like the vast majority of Brazilians, I do like football. Ok, I might not be a big fan, and I confess to only knowing the name of the goalkeeper who plays for Sport, the team I supposedly root for.

But the World Cup is a different matter. I don’t know what happens, but I change. I really support our national team, I watch all the matches and feel all the good and bad emotions that the competition brings.

However, this year I feel differently altogether. This year I’ll root for Argentina, our all-time rival, and I mean I’ll really support them. I migh even buy a top, making sure it has Messi’s name on it. And I’ll go further, I’ll also root against Brazil. These are my two favourite scenarios: Brazil leaves the competition in the first phase; or, Brazil is humiliated by our ‘hermanos’ at the finals, with Messi scoring a hat-trick and even better if Neymar scores against his own net.

I’m sorry if I sound angry, but I’m more than that, I’m absolutely revolted.

Here’s what happens. In October, we’ll have our elections for president, and our disgusting beloved president is running for re-election. As you might be aware, Brazil is going through a serious social and economic crisis. But in case you forgot, we’re famous for our short memory. Which means that if our national team actually wins the world cup, the average Brazilian will be overcome by a feeling that everything is alright, which would increase the likelihood of our greatly disguised president being re-elected. And I surely don’t want that. Why not? Here are some of the various reasons why I’d love to see Dilma and all her gang comrades falling out of power:

1. Because they believe a lie told many times over becomes true. And as such they repeatedly lie. Several times, as when Dilma takes credit for the creation of Real.

2. Because I work more than a third of the year to pay for government expenses, which don’t stop rising. And I mean expenses.

3. Because investments only drop.

4. Because they want to make sure they’ll remain in power for many years, and that is why public institutions have been flooded with bandits comrades.

5. Because they’ve taken many people out of poverty, which should be a honourable and beautiful thing to do. But was it by making sure they were more competitive for real life? No, it was by giving them money if they can prove they’re poor. And so what’s the problem? Many obviously took advantage got the message. Many don’t want jobs anymore. With the taxes, effort and horrible public transport conditions, it’s a much better deal to stay home, both financially and physically. What about trying to help people find a job and increasing their benefits in case they’re successful. Shouldn’t people be awarded for their success instead of failure? I know, they don’t have opportunities. But what has been made to make sure they do have those opportunities. Not much, take the money and vote for me be happy. And remember, other politicians might decide to take this benefit away from you. Who pays this massive bill? Idiots like Me and you.

6. While people take to the streets to protest, was there anything concrete done or planned thought of? Nope, they’re too busy organizing the most expensive world cup ever.

7. Almost forgot this one. Because we’re lending our money which we don’t absolutely need, for a very reliable and profitable client: Cuba! On top of that, keep bringing all the Cuban doctors who need to send back their salaries to Havana foreign doctors, we appreciate it.

I could continue, but I must go back to work now. After all, someone has to pay for all this mess.

Have I missed something?

Oh, that’s right. Just making clear to the players who will never get to read this, it’s nothing personal. But go Messi! I honestly hope you kick our asses balls.

Arena by the canal

She’s happy. She’s thrilled, in fact. She can see the changes. She’s been noticing it for many years now. It was not so long ago that she had to struggle to bring whatever cheap food her salary could afford. Now she has some space for a couple of luxuries such as mayonnaise, but the best brand, and frozen lasagne. One negative aspect of these changes is that her husband has been drinking her money more and more, but as long as the mayo is there, it’s a good sign. It means that she could get everyone she needed, and there was still enough to buy it.

She was able to find free treatment for her pregnancy issue, and now her life was complete. The little boy is 2, and she has so many dreams for him. She knows that she managed to improve, and she moved from the underground of society and now has full sight of what happens above, she dreams with the top. But she knows it’s not for her, it’s for the boy. She will do anything she can to help get him there.

Her daydreaming becomes even more intense when she looks through the window and sees the tip of the new stadium. Sorry, they don’t call it like that anymore. She sees the tip of the arena. The big event is just months away, but the arena will remain to show everyone that progress is all around. We’re marching forward.

On her way to work every day, she will choose as slightly longer path just so she can walk beside the massive structure. It’s a way of never forgetting the greatness that awaits her son. In the meantime, her son plays on the tiny street in front of his house. His friend’s mum is watching both kids crawl and have fun on the once dirt road, now only dirty.

They all see the massive structure. It’s impossible not to see it. It’s big and it’s new. But just like everyone who sees something every single day, several things disappear behind routine. They do see the arena, but they don’t see the canal. The canal that transports the untreated sewers from their very homes.

There are several other things that they don’t see, but now not because they don’t see any longer, but because the can’t see it. They can’t see the disease that is infecting the little two-year-old. They can’t see that the little one should be using most of his body’s energy to develop his brain, but instead he’s using it to fight this disease from the canal. And they will think that the boy is lazy in years to come, but they won’t be able to see that his lack of concentration is not his fault.

At some point they will stop seeing the arena. Perhaps it evens goes back to the status of stadium, who knows. And the mayo in the fridge might see some more fancy items. They might think about getting a new smart phone, and maybe even a car; and new shoes to step on the muddy and filthy canal banks.

Have I missed something?

Meet you at the mall

The boy was born in a family that was not very wealthy, quite the contrary in fact, but that’s ok, since this includes him in the vast majority of his country’s population. He grows up in the suburbs, and the more he grows, the more he has contact with upper class kids. He watches them, and he likes what he sees. All those brands, cool clothes, cool cars to pick them up. How come those girls seem to be so much more beautiful than the ones from his neighbourhood he doesn’t understand. Does money bring beauty?

Time passes, and the context in which he lives in goes through some changes. The scenery is the same, and so are the people and their houses. But now he sees some plasma TVs, and his mum, who is still at the same occupation that she has been at for the past decade now can afford meat instead on only chicken and cabbage soup. More than that, she can also afford some Nike and Adidas every now and then.

Years of public safety issues took the minority who think as a majority into the large and thick walls of shopping malls. There they do everything. They live. They shop, they eat, they walk, they talk, they see. They live.

But the boy had been left out all this time. The few times he went there were not very pleasant. Looking but not participating was hard, so his visits were reduced to meeting his dad at the end of his shift before going home.

But things have changed now. Now his mum can afford to give him some money to spend on his things. And all of a sudden he looks down and marvels at the three stripes. And it gets better than that, he’s not alone. It feels as if his entire neighbourhood has gone up a level. Or two.

He still accompanies his dad to the mall, but this time at the beginning of his shift, not the end. While his dad works, he shops, eats, goes to the movies, hangs out, dates, wears and enjoys. He lives. And he likes it. He and his friends really do enjoy it. They compare styles. They compare attitudes. They have fun. They have so much fun that they grow. And they grow exponentially.

But something’s wrong. That was not the plan. Those walls were built to bring safety and entertainment for kids wearing the same clothes, but the skin colour is quite different. And so are the backgrounds, the neighbourhoods and everything else. Now those walls welcome two different crowds. One is having a blast. The other is scared.

Those walls are also a business, and their owners are also scared. What is going on, they wonder. The purpose of these walls were built was to separate these crowds, and now they are back crammed together in a very odd situation.

The boy now sees himself in the epicentre of a national social clash. His neighbour made it to the cover of a magazine, and his girlfriend has 6 figures of followers on social networks. And he doesn’t like the fact that people are scared of him. Do they think I want to rob something? Those guys who got into trouble last week have nothing to do with me and my friends. I have decided long ago not to be a criminal. I saw what happens to those drug dealers who lived not far from my neighbourhood. I’m not a criminal. I want what they want. Cool brands, have a good time, hang out with friends and hopefully some kissing will be involved. I don’t get why they’re so pissed and scared.

But the camera is focusing on me and I’m making my point clear. I’ve finally joined the class of consumers, and I’ll enjoy it as I can. Capitalism has finally open its doors for me and it’s fun. A lot of fun. Buying is absolutely brilliant. And you should see those chicks’ eyes glitter when I pay cash. I guess that’s how it feels to ride in a limo. But I can’t let this moment slip away, I have to take a stand and fight for my rights. I’m not going to be kicked out of malls like a bandit. And that is why I have decided to join the a national organization who will help me fight back. I have joined the National Socialist Party for Youngsters. They fight back society, and I’m sure they’ll guarantee I have the right to buy my cool brands.

What have I missed?